Patrick

http://www.kmvt.com/obits/224903542.html

Another painting, and loss

Last Thursday Lorie posted on facebook that it been a rough few days, Patrick had pneumonia and was struggling pretty hard. I had done in-home-caregiving for their family, for their two boys--Matthew and Patrick-- who have muscular dystrophy. The nurse had Pat on some heavy duty antibiotics, and he was holding on. My heart sank, because pnemonia had been what killed their older brother Brandon, and they knew that it would likely kill Pat if he ever got it. I had planned on taking a cherry pie over to their house for Brandon's and Matthew's joint birthday friday, since cherry pie was Brandon's favorite pie, and Matthew loved pie in general. I decided to not wait until friday, and quickly made the pie and took it up to their house. Patrick was in bed on an incline, and looked fairly normal, although pretty miserable. However, he was able to crack some jokes and talk to me, even though it has become really hard to understand him as his voice is now almost just mouthing words.

Muscular dystrophy is a disease that causes you to lose all control over all of your muscles. You still feel everything, you still have all of your faculties, you are just stuck in this body that won't work. He has ate out of feeding tubes for some time, out of fear of choking, and he had to have others help him itch his leg, or arm, or rub a sore spot on his elbow. In any case, I felt a little reassured after visiting that he was doing better than I had expected, but there was a mood in the house that made me feel like it wasn't going to be okay.

Thursday, after I left, Pat decided he felt well enough to get in his chair. Matthew joked that he was their mommy's "Triceratelephant! triceratops mixed with an elephant."

Friday evening at 6:30 Pat decided to leave earth and join his brother. It was a conscious choice, from what I'm told, and he was able to say goodbye to his family and Betsy, his favorite aide. Betsy had worked mainly with him, I had worked mainly with Matt. His family is handling things pretty well, because they know that they will see him again, and that he is happy and free. They also smiled that when he was leaving, he was concerned/sad about missing his shows and games that were coming out soon for fall... lol

I didn't know what to do, I wanted to bring them something, but felt that anything I could give would be inadequate. And then I remembered the painting Matthew had been bugging me to do for a long while. I sat down saturday evening and did the painting, and it turned out almost close to perfect. When I took it over late Saturday evening, I held it up for Matthew to see and his face lit up with the biggest grin. And his mother laughed. The idea of the painting is based on several jokes from Matthew teasing me about taking out a power pole one thanksgiving on the way to their home, and some jokes that evolved from that accident. I was painting while overcome with a lot of emotion, so it shows in the painting. I didn't realize until afterwards that the colors reflected exactly how I felt, the darkness of the sky to the brightness of the tree.

Today I got on facebook to find a private message from Matthew, telling me that he knew this was a random message, but that he LOVED the painting, and couldn't stop smiling every time he looked at it. Matthew is rarely serious, he rarely ever tells you how he feels, instead he is the comedian of the family. To have him be serious and say how much he appreciated the painting meant a lot, and I realized I really had been guided by the spirit to think of it as a gift at this time. I know that although he tries to come off as super strong and as if life moves on, he is really going to miss his brother. They had always shared a room, and now it is just him. He has another brother who isn't effected by the disease, who has a family of his own, but mostly Matt will be by himself at home, with his parents when they aren't working, and with his aide. Matt wants to get married, and to have a family, and he still holds out hope that they will find a cure before the disease takes him. He is definitely a fighter.

There is a bonding/love that comes through serving others. You grow to love each other on a level that is impossible through any other means. When I visited Thursday, Patrick kept having his dad come in and suction out his mouth. I'm sure he was slightly embarrased to have me do it. I saw, though, after a while that he needed it again, so I got the suction tube and helped him. I can't explain how serving these boys has changed my life. I know that we were meant to live in this area, and I was meant to know them. I've had people tell me they could never do this kind of job, that it would be too hard to see them die, to know that it was going to happen. For me, it would be a  tragedy if they had died without me ever having the chance to know them. To have them pass away, and I never have heard their jokes, never have known their personality, never have even felt their passing... that would be a greater sadness than having to say goodbye.

Happy Day

This little girl is officially off of diapers! Now, I'll be honest, there will still be accidents, but she is doing really well. What I did was I got out the potty seat, and I had her run around naked. It is not fun to have a naked child running around, especially when people come to visit--they tend to get the impression that you are "those" people who let their kids run around naked. She only had 2 or 3 accidents on the floor (not fun) but for the most part she would go in the potty every time... until you put underwear on her.

I stuck with it, though. I didn't have the patience or time to dedicate to the technique where you seclude yourself in the house for a week and spend every moment all day long potty training. When we would go out I'd either put her in a diaper, or in a cloth training-pants thing.

Last week I decided I needed to do away with diapers completely, or she would train herself that it was okay to pee once the diaper came on. In order to get her to keep her underwear clean (cause we really can't have her run around naked forever) I do dry checks randomly throughout the day, and reward her for being dry. I'd been rewarding Violet most of the times she went potty (I didn't do it every time because I was weaning her off of the idea of getting rewarded) so I thought this idea was brilliant.

It is working. The night before last I put her in a training pants, and she didn't make it to morning dry. Last night I tried again, and made sure to have her go potty before bed. I even woke her up during the night and had her sit on the potty... she was NOT pleased with me, and I don't think that I'll do that again, it didn't work and just made her very unhappy. This morning I was certain I was going to find a drenched bed, but instead I discovered she was completely dry. Happy Day!! I praised her over and over again, and she got a treat. She even kept clean through church yesterday, and went potty in the church restroom. While I was typing this post she began to go poo in her underwear, so we aren't completely "there" yet, but we are progressing pretty well I think.

crazy blog!!!

Apparently my blog has decided to get a mind of its own. Today I discovered that my normal background that I've had for quite a while had dissapeared, and in its place was a box with some message in it about photobucket... in the middle of all my posts and text. I chose a generic background so that you can actually see my blog until I take the time to redo my blog. So, please excuse my blog for a while as it goes under reconstruction. Not tonight, I'm tired and going to bed. But, one of these days I'll sit down and re-do the blog. :) I haven't been too thrilling of a blog author lately, but I would like to do better. And I have some new projects I'm working on that I want to blog about, and hopefully they will be more interesting to read about than what I've done so far :)

Flamboyant art instructor job in Vegas... any takers?

Lately our life has taken unexpected turns, and we are now back in the job hunting process. I've felt relatively calm about it up until this evening, and tonight I had my first real panicked thoughts. This led me to the contemplation of whether I could get a job that would provide for our family in the event that Ryan didn't find one.

Yes, I am fully aware that I picked a field of study that does not easily result in high paying jobs. I knew that when I picked it. I knew it when I decided to finish it. I guess I've always had faith that Ryan would be able to take care of us with his bachelors and masters degree in a relatively good field, and I still have that faith... but, I did consider tonight the possibility of art teaching jobs that may pay enough to take care of a family.

I don't think they exist, hahahaha. We would both have to work, and we may have to do that.

However, I did find one job that made me smile. The job was for an art instructor position at a hotel/casino in Vegas, for a class offered as a sort of entertainment type draw for the hotel. The "art instructor" would have to learn choreographed dances, and be very flamboyant in personality. The way the ad described the position, it was quite clear that the hotel was looking for the cliche flamboyant homosexual without actually coming out and saying that is what they wanted. I just found the ad to be rather amusing, and it made me want to go watch this “art class” sometime just for entertainment sake.

For the record, I did find several art school positions for teachers in Portland OR and Washington state that sounded pretty fun, but they were part-time type positions. I’m thinking that wherever we do end up I would like to maybe take on a part time position teaching figure drawing.

Spinach and Cheese Stuffed Lasagna~The best lasagna recipe you will EVER make. Seriously.

Spinach and Cheese Stuffed Lasagna

1 box lasagna noodles

1 to 2 lbs hamburger

2 cups chopped fresh spinach

2 cloves garlic, minced

Half of a 15 oz container Ricotta cheese

4 oz cream cheese

1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

1 cup shredded Monterrey Jack or Mozzarella cheese

1/2 cup cheddar cheese
1 cup milk

1 tsp Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp salt split

1/2 tsp pepper split

1 tbsp basil split

1 tbsp oregano split

1 1/2 can/jar spaghetti sauce (26 oz size jar/can)

Directions
Pre-heat over to 375
Boil your noodles. Adding a little oil to the water helps keep them from gluing together. Drain water, and if needed (if you are not immediately using) spray with cooking oil spray to keep them from sticking.

Brown your hamburger. I add some of the seasonings to my hamburger as it cooks, such as: pepper, oregano, basil, and garlic (this is why I put "split" in the ingredients list. I put half in the white cheese sauce and half in the meat. for the garlic, I would put a tiny amount of garlic powder in the white sauce, and put the fresh garlic in the red sauce. If all I have is garlic powder, I do it for both the meat and the white cheese sauce. I don't know the exact measurement and I'm afraid of guessing). After draining excess oil, add spaghetti sauce and heat till simmering.

Mix together all of the cheeses, milk, and the spices. I stick mine in the microwave long enough to get it melted so it spreads on nicely, but that is not necessary.

Spoon some of the red sauce on the bottom of the 9 x 13 dish. Then spread a little of the white cheese sauce on the bottom as well. Put down your first layer of 4 noodles. Then put more red sauce and meat. Shred a thin layer of cheese (white or yellow, your pick) over the meat, then lay down another layer of noodles. Spread on some of the white cheese sauce, and then sprinkle on some of the spinach. repeat layers. on the top put the remaining red sauce. then put the remaining white sauce. Sprinkle a small amount of Monterrey or mozzarella on top. Sprinkle a light amount of Parmesan on top.  Bake for approximately 20-30 minutes covered, and then remove the tin foil and bake another 5 minutes. you want to see the sauce boiling when you take it out and all of the cheese on top melted and maybe even beginning to barely brown.

Ryan loves lasagna, so we have made it a great deal over the last 8 years. He is very picky about his lasagna. He doesn't want anything weird or funny in it. His ideal lasagna is noodles, a can/jar of spaghetti sauce, hamburger,  and cheddar cheese-- without anything else added in. Even spices. I do not like this recipe, and over the years I dislike it more and more. But he loves it and so I most often make it. But occasionally I'll try to tweak it.

I recently figured out this recipe, and the kids and Ryan love it. Ryan agreed it was the best I had ever made. I honestly do not measure things out when I cook, so I did my best to estimate the spices in order to share it on here with you. If you do not like a lot of spices, than add a little less of each than I did. You can always add more the next time you make it if it's too bland. I made it with tomatoes tonight, but I won't do that again because I didn't like how it turned out. I made it tonight to try and get some food into Violet because she isn't eating as well as I would like, and I know she loves lasagna... but she just picked at it tonight. I tried, right? :)

Stuff

I drove my sister to a wedding of one of her friends in Rexburg Saturday, and after dropping her off went over to campus to walk around for a moment and eat lunch. These pictures show what I miss about BYU-I. I didn't think I missed school anymore, but apparently I was wrong. I stepped in the Taylor and a wave of memories hit me. Surprisingly, I didn't have quite the same reaction to the art building (the Spori) as much as the Taylor (it was the religion building, and we had church meetings there as well).

If I were to do it all over again, I think I would pick horticulture as my major. 

I do really miss having the open studios to go paint/draw in. A wave of nostalgia hit me when I entered the studio rooms. 

  

 Two of my favorite pieces of art (currently hanging in the Taylor), by one of my past (now retired) teachers, Brother Bird.

 I do not miss these drawing horses. I actually got back pain just by looking at it... lol

 My clematis is beautiful. Granted it is only about 5-6 inches high, but still, I love the color.

Iris's looking beautiful.

 cuddling on the couch waiting for Aunt Stephanie to show up.

 I was grateful for all the help painting our house. I messed up picking the color, and it wasn't what I had thought it would be, but it looks much better than it did.

 I was washing sheets and came in to find hunter all cutely curled up on my clean sheet-less bed... yeah, he got booted, but not until after I took a picture. I found Tinker curled up in my sock drawer, and they both got thrown outside.

Does anyone else have trouble getting their kid to eat? Violet won't eat enough, and then either wakes up during the night starving, or wakes up super cranky and hungry in the morning. But she won't eat. One day she will act like a certain dish is her favorite and eat it up so fast. The next time I make it she won't even touch it. Yesterday she didn't eat lunch or dinner. I even relented and gave her a second option of scrambled eggs for dinner which she ate maybe 3 bites of before saying she was done. So, around 3 in the morning she woke up hungry. I gave her some milk and brought her into bed with me because she wouldn't stop crying. Around 4 I could feel her little hand patting me on my back very sweetly. It was clear she wasn't going to go to sleep because she was still hungry. So, I got up and gave her a yogurt which she only ate half of. Luckily she ate oatmeal and a banana for breakfast today... and only a string cheese for lunch. My mother-in-law always says that a kid will eat when they are hungry and won't starve if food is put in front of them, but I wonder if Violet wants to prove that theory wrong. All morning she laid around with her blanket and binki, and I don't know if it's just cause or if she doesn't have the energy cause she won't eat.