one step at a time

It is hard to do everything, but I have found that I get more done, and my ADD is a little easier to manage, when I have a LOT of things to do--and especially if some of the major things in that list of things to do is engaging and fulfilling. It might take a while though to get things done with having so many things to do...

I have been slowly working on my painting. Any slower and I wouldn't be working on it at all hahahaha. I have been feeling an internal push to paint, but I never seem to be able to fit it in. I would like to do it at work in the evenings, but so far haven't had the opportunity to leave home once I get home for the day.

I busted out my paints today, in my tiny living room, and after failing at color mixing, I turned to the internet for help, again. I can not express my love for the internet enough. I found several articles on color theory that were exactly what I needed, and figured out how to solve my road block. Of course, I am too tired at this point to start painting again for the evening, but I know what to do when I go at it again.

And have I mentioned how messy oil paints are? I managed to get them all over my face without even trying. even on my mouth. I have skills. And, have I mentioned how toxic oil paints are? Hence why I washed my lips down with dawn soap. so fun hahaha.

I went to bed with full intentions of going to sleep... and then Ryan put an idea in my head, which of course was like a domino effect and led to a really good idea for my painting, and now my brain is going and won't stop. I wasn't going to get to sleep unless I figured out the specifics of how my idea would work, so I got onto the computer, opened up my Photoshop, and figured out how to redesign my painting for this new idea. The best part is it will only take some minor tweaking but will result in a better composition, and a clearer message.

I really, really appreciate technology like google and photoshop. It makes me wonder if our ancestors ever get angry at how we take it for granted (I have been assured that people who have gone before us do not get angry, because they are beyond such things, but I still wonder :) ). There is absolutely no excuse not to learn whatever it is you want to learn. When I hit my roadblock tonight, my first thought was to pray for help, hoping the answer would just pop into my head; and then I had the impression come that if I really believed that you could learn anything these days, than why shouldn't I be looking it up on the internet? I felt as if I was being taught a lesson, similar to the brother of Jared in the Book of Mormon. We have been given so much in this day and age, we really do not have any excuses not to further our education as much as we can through personal research, etc.

some of the things I have been working on

This sculpture by Benjamin Victor of Delilah is in my opinion 

the best sculpture I have as of yet seen come through the foundry. I am completely in awe of it every time I walk by it, and am kind of sad to see it be shipped off. 

 I helped in the mold room one day when we didn't have any metal to work on. Actually I spent the week in there. They will often mold in pieces, so that is why he is missing some body parts.

 I am so stinking proud of doing the patina on this piece. my manager had her way of doing it, and the first time I did the piece I did it her way, though I knew it wasn't the best way--and it didn't turn out perfect. The second time around (it is part of a series) I thought a lot about it, and came up with a different way of doing it. My manager was not pleased, and all along the way kept commenting on how I should have done it the other way, thinking that I was completely messing it up. It turned out PERFECT. I have discovered that I do have skill in something, I do have knowledge and understanding beyond the basics in something, and it is a very big confidence boost. I am discovering that although my managers do have more experience in application and "recipes" (they were trained on the job, they are self proclaimed NOT artists--artists drive them crazy... and now they have to work with an artist hahaha), I really do know my stuff when it comes to color, design, composition, value, and all those things you learn in school as well as in years of painting and drawing. 

moments of beauty

We have been blessed with smart, kind, beautiful children. Sometimes I just marvel at the miracle my children are. Sometimes I let Violet fall asleep in my bed with me, and I enjoy holding her close like when she was a baby, and think that these days are so fleeting and someday soon they will be all grown up and I will severely miss this. Between the temper tantrums, and difficult days there are moments of pure beauty. Recently I was struggling with my inadequacies as a parent, and I overheard Ethan proudly telling his friend how his mom was funny and would play with him. I realized that at the end of my life, the greatest compliment I could get from my children wouldn't be that I kept an immaculate home, or that I was super organized, but that I made them feel loved.  It made it a little less of a big deal to me that I struggle in other areas. 

I lost my make-up a couple months back. All of it. We had just returned from a trip, and so it was assumed that I lost it on the trip. I am not a make-up person, I just like being me most days as I am, but I like being able to look extra nice sometimes. So, I finally broke down and bought all new make-up this last week, and even some things I should have bought years ago--like in High School---hahaha. I feel like a grown up. I was so excited to try my new stuff out.


Today we found my missing make-up. Violet had stashed it in the back of her closet, behind toy boxes. It must have happened when we were un-packing. Ryan says it had to have been me, because Violet says she didn't do it, and she is so cute that he believes her. :)


We are currently staying put in our tiny apartment. We keep going back and forth on whether or not to move, and we even found a cute house to rent that would have been perfect, however our desire to be wise and save, and pay of debt, etc. won out. It is hard being a financially responsible adult sometimes, but we keep plugging along. As Ryan says, we are tough! ... or something :)


I emptied my strawberries out of my garden plot today and gave most of them to a friend who has a huge garden. She is going to let me garden with her family next year, instead of me going to the community garden.


I saved one large strawberry plant and planted in it in a hanging planter that is really pretty. I have no idea if it will survive or thrive in our tiny apartment over the winter but we will see. I am finding it very nice to be able to go and buy things we want, that are not complete necessities--like hanging planters, or new make-up, or a cute hat for work--and not stress about it. I am very grateful for Ryan's job. My job is supplemental, and helps towards our saving and paying off debt, and it is definitely educational and interesting being that I am working as a patineur in a bronze foundry, but I am grateful that Ryan has finally been able to get a job that is fulfilling and supports our family.