School

I am anxious about school starting tomorrow. In the past we have looked forward with excitement for school, but this year Ethan has been stressed out about it and not at all eager to go back--which of course causes me to be anxious. Saturday I took him to lunch and then school shopping by myself, and he suddenly opened up and started telling me all of his concerns, as well as his negative memories from last year that he never told me about before. Most of it is simply a result of his misunderstandings of social interactions as well as inability to fully communicate with his peers.

I am grateful that his second grade teacher appears to be absolutely perfect for him, and I am praying and hoping that things will go better than last year. I have an IEP meeting set up for the end of September (they refused to do it sooner) and I will be fully prepared with doctors notes, goals, and our expectations. I was given great advice from several people, the best of which came from a principal of a school for kids with disabilities, and then a parent of a teen with Aspergers. I feel confident things will work out for the best, despite the case worker who I spoke to on Monday who tried to fluff me aside and made it sound like she wanted to take Ethan off of his IEP--which will not happen.

Tonight I am preparing some freezer meals for Ethan to take to school for lunch. I discovered last year that Ethan will not eat the food if he doesn't like it, and most of the time he did not like the school food. He is generally not a picky eater (he eats spicy food that is even too hot for me), but he hated school food most of the time, and there was no forcing him to eat it. I can't blame him, it is pretty yucky in my opinion as well. Ethan informed me that the cafeteria does have a microwave that kids can get help heating their food in, so I decided to make up some enchilada's tonight, and freeze them in portions that I can thaw and put in his lunch box with an ice pack. I'll also freeze the go-gurts so they will stay cold until lunch, and then just include some fruit. Ethan is a VERY hungry kid, he out eats Ryan and me combined, and he does not function well if he is hungry--so I figure this way I can help him perform better at school and help his teacher out by not having him be cranky and un-cooperative from hunger.

I was also thinking tonight, as I was washing dishes and stressing about school and Ethan's development, that I might have Ryan ask the young men at church if any of them would be willing to hang out with Ethan once a week for an hour or so playing soccer or baseball, in order to help him with physical development as well as social skills. The lady I spoke with who had a teen with Aspergers had suggested something like that, and I think it would be a very good thing for Ethan.

I am sure it will all work out, but the night before school starts is always filled with apprehension. Ethan is at least excited about the Captain America thermos I bought him at Old Navy, he keeps telling everyone about it and has repeatedly given me hugs and told me how much he loved me for buying it for him, hahahaha.

coming along

The beginning of my value study.  

breathing a sigh of relief

one step of the process is hopefully now behind me.......

My first serious photo shoot went really well, although I had so much anxiety build up throughout the evening that afterwards I felt nauseous and couldn't eat any of the yummy things I brought. Jeff Goodrich (the one who loaned and set up the photography equipment) was even kind enough to run by really quickly at the beginning when I couldn't get my camera to work (while Jillyn hid on the other side of the church so he wouldn't see her in her "costume", hahahaha she's so cute). He was so helpful, from setting things up to giving me knowledge on camera angle, lighting, and camera settings. I am so grateful to him as well as to my model Jillyn, who had a rough day and yet was so eager and cheerful and had just such a great attitude. The creative process does not come from a single person, and it is sad when only one person gets all of the credit. Often it takes a team of people to create a masterpiece, even if the finished piece was designed by one person.

Photo shoot day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My camera is ready
The studio lights are ready
I am itching to get this done~ I am so excited

A man in our bishopric was so incredibly kind as to volunteer, without me asking, to let me use his professional lights for my photo shoot tonight. He spent an hour or so last night setting them up with me on the stage at the church, and then spent time with me today getting my camera ready to use. He went to school for photography, and did it professionally for a while, but switched careers to education, and is now a principal at a school for children with learning and behavioral problems. He refuses to charge for his photography, because then it becomes tedious and stressful, so instead he does it occasionally for friends and family just for personal enjoyment. I am so grateful to him, this is a tremendous gift to an artist. I'm thinking that I will do a painting some time for his family as a thank you. I wish he could take the pictures himself, however my model is very self conscious, so even though I know she would agree if I asked her because she is so kind, I know it would make her extremely uncomfortable. This way will work though.

So, I have been following several artists, and seeing how they handle the process of posing a model and drawing/painting/photographing them. One thing I noted was that they provided yummy food to make it a more enjoyable experience for the model. So I am making these:  http://www.pinterest.com/pin/194217802651977282/

and then I'll have something yummy to drink... and maybe make some lemon bars because I have been craving them for a long time.

I am so excited, because this painting is coming along so professionally! My confidence in the outcome is growing with each day :)

she is home

After saying another prayer with Ethan earlier that Tinker would find her way home, I had a peaceful feeling that she was going to return home. Ryan was certain she was gone for good. This evening out of nowhere she showed up at our door. we think she had been trapped on accident in a shed somewhere, and she appears to have some heat exhaustion. I'm greatful for answered prayers.

Sweet Tinker

My Tinker hasn't come home in over a week. When we lived in Burley she only once left for more than a day, instead she would stay in our yard and preferred being inside. The last couple months she has taken off a couple times and hasn't returned for a couple days, but she always showed back up after 2 or 3 days. This is the longest she has been gone, and we fear she is not coming back. I hope that she was adopted by someone kind, but I worry that most likely she was hit by a car, or is trapped in a shed or something. I walked up and down the alley for several blocks calling, I drove around the area a bit looking; and I called the animal shelter, but they didn't answer their phone. I'm trying to accept that she isn't coming back, and that makes me so sad. Hunter started acting up the other day, and that is when I started to worry. He started following me around everywhere, and cried all night until we let him in--he is my independent wanderer, so the fact that he suddenly became super clingy made me think he knew something was up and he misses Tinker a lot apparently. I'm still holding out hope and saying prayers that she will return, though,

Patina Artist

I love plans and lists, but most often things work out much differently than planned.

I have the opportunity to possibly be a Patina Artist at a renowned Bronze Foundry here in Lander. Although I had no intentions of working, this is one of those opportunities that Ryan and I both feel I shouldn't pass up. Tomorrow is my interview, and I'm fairly certain, based on the reactions of the people at the foundry, that I have a very good chance of landing the job. If I get the job, I'm pretty sure I will love it, and it will help me to be a better 2-D artist as well.

Here is a video of what my job would entail. Seriously, one of the coolest jobs out there:

It will be full time, but I will be able to come in pretty early in the mornings once I am trained, and therefore I will get off of work in the early afternoon. Violet is at the age where she really wants to be around other children, and I was not looking forward to both of us being cooped up all winter. I know that she will LOVE being in preschool/daycare, however I am still a little worried. We will see how it goes, and take it one day at a time to see if it will or won't work out. Having me work will help us get completely out of debt (including Ryan's student loan) by February--this brings me immense peace. Because of the way I grew up, I feel very strongly about the importance and need for being self sufficient, and financially stable.

I don't know that I will stay at this job forever, we will just see how it goes.  I want to be that parent who is home at lunch so the kids can bring friends home, to create that kind of loving, safe environment where all the children would want to hang out there--so that we can be involved and influential in our children's lives.

I will still be working on my painting. I have peace about it, and know that everything will work out. I actually think things will go better, because I will be forced to organize my time so that everything will get taken care of. Plus, Ryan will help out around the house as well, so things will work out.