My Little Boy Blue

Ethan was born on October 15th, so he is now approaching his second birthday. I had planned on doing this post on his birthday, but I don't want to wait. This e-mail is more for me than for anyone else, so I understand it might be boring to everyone but me.

I remember when Ethan was born, I loved the fact that I could pick him up and hold him whenever I wanted, and I didn't have to ask someone else for permission. I would even pick him up when he was napping just to hold him and look at him. At first, in the hospital, I remember being a little overwhelmed at the idea of being responsible for him, I didn't know what to do with him, I didn't know if I was supposed to change his diapers or when to feed him (it may sound silly, but I was seriously overwhelmed by it). And it was overwhelming when my mom had to leave, I cried off and on that whole day, and for a while afterwords. However things did get easier, and I don't regret any of it.

When Ethan wakes up in the morning and I see his smiling face it makes up for the fact that I wanted to stay in bed and keep sleeping. Sometimes, if he wakes up early enough I will pull him into bed with me and let him jump around and giggle. I will roll over with my back to him and he will start playing with my hair, or he will get under the covers and lay on Ryan's pillow and pretend to go to sleep.

Ethan doesn't talk yet, rarely he will say a word out of no where, but thats it- a one time thing. He has been doing really well on signing, and I find it so cute when he tries to sign, he will sometimes start making up stuff because he doesn't know how to say what he wants to say. So he'll pat his hands together and rub his arms, and maybe wave one in the air, all in his efforts to communicate. It's very cute. He can sign drink, banana, please, up, more, movie, book, ball, cat, dog, quack, and good bye. We are currently working on mama, dadda. grandpa, grandma, open, and thank you, as well as getting him to know what his eyes, nose, mouth and ears are. He is very cute when he signs cat, he will pull one hand across his cheek and get a big smile on his face. This morning he even came up to me, looked at the kitten (tonya and phils cat they recently dropped off) and signed cat. Normally I have to tell him to say cat, but this time he did it on his own.

Since he doesn't talk, it is hard to really understand how much he comprehends. So, I'm impressed by things others might find ordinary, such as he has figured out the right buttons to push on grandma and grandpa's radio/alarm clock to turn it off and on, he knows which button to push for his favorite song on the toy keyboard, he Has a favorite song on the keyboard, and also has a favorite song on his little whinnie the pooh ride toy thingy. He dances anytime fun music comes on, which consists of running in place or around the room, and lifting his knees really high. He will sit on the piano bench and turn the pages of whatever music book is on the piano and then play (even though Joan rarely sits at the piano, and it's even rarer when I do). He also, generally, plays nicely on the piano- without "plunking". So i'm impressed.

I love Ethan so much. The day he was born was the happiest day of my life. He's my little buddy, I spend 90% of my time with only him (I really don't get out much), and so I wouldn't want to live a day without him in my life. Thats not to say I wouldn't welcome a vacation some time in the near future (that comment is for Ryan :) ), however I would definately miss having his little smiling face to greet me. I recently learned of another little boy who drowned in a canal. He was only 16 or 17 months old, and it broke my heart. I can only imagine what the parents are going through, as I know that it would destroy me to lose my son. When I heard about this little boy, I wanted to go down stairs and wake Ethan from his nap and hold him forever and never let him go, because you never know what could happen. Thats why I decided to write this post, because I wanted to say out loud how I feel about my little boy, and how much he really means to me, his sweet little face, and pretty blue eyes. I love how happy he is to see me in the mornings, and how he will cuddle with me throughout the day. I love when he gives me kisses. I love being his mom.