When You're The Best of Friends

Just a thought I've been mulling over for some time now (as in years, really). I knew a girl in HS (we will call her Emily) who was generally kind, but not the smartest or the happiest. She was a grade younger than me, and she had several friends who were willing to be friends with her. However those girls had many weaknesses and they were not all that bright either. Emily was determined that she wanted to be friends with the "popular" girls. She didn't know anything about what it took to be popular, she didn't have the clothes, or the social skills, or the personality. However she was determined that this was the group of friends that she wanted to have. Sadly those girls had no intention of including her in their circle, but she was not deterred. The girls were just nice enough to Emily that she was able to keep up the illusion in her own head that she was actually one of their friends (even though, unbeknownst to her they would constantly belittle her). I would occasionally hint to her about her original friends, and would remind her that they were friendly and willing to be her friend, but to her they were not the quality of friends she was looking for. Those friends were not good enough for her, and she in turn was not good enough for the popular girls.

I've often heard it said that we should surround ourselves with uplifting, caring, smart friends. So, who is supposed to be friends to the depressed, less caring, not so smart people? Now, obvioulsy, it would be hard for anyone to be friends with someone who lacked any honorable qualities, however being that we are all from different backgounds, and we have had different life changing experiences, not everyone possesses all the notworthy qualities that we should have. We cannot hold to the idea that lacking perfection gives us the excuse to not try to change our faults, however, faults can be embedded deeply and take a lot of time and work to overcome. I hold to the belief that most generally it doesn't happen over night. You can have a change of heart and realize your weaknesses and choose to take an active role in overcoming them, but It probably will take time to change habits, and beliefs. There are some things that you honestly cannot change about yourself. So, I guess the question that my mulling has generated would be, how does one ignore others faults and be their friend, or how does one make friends with others if they themselves are aware of their own faults that annoy others? You can be working hard to overcome them, but they still show, like the smart alec lady who is constantly trying to hold her tongue, or the obnoxious girl who lacks social skills and always says the wrong thing at the wrong moment, much to her embarassment. I had a friend like that in college, and most people did not want to be her friend becuase of her faults, even though she was trying to overcome them. She was very friendly and outgoing, and continued to try to make friends, however that didn't change the fact that most people did not want to be her friend.

It must be so nice to be someone who has "invisible" weaknesses, the kind that are not readily noticeable to everyone they come in contact with. Ryan is a good example when it comes being a good friend, because in general he accepts people for who they are and likes them despite their faults. He has a wide variety of friends, and of those friends which I've come in contact with, all have thought and spoken very highly of him. It's one of the things that I admire about him.